Think About It

Many people are offended by the idea that “we create our reality.” They see it as a version of blaming the victim. Nobody asks for bad things to happen to them, and I couldn’t agree more. What is not under our control are the many random events of life.

The families we were born into are the circumstances, experiences, and events that shape who we are. Not necessarily who we are or want to become. We influence other living things with our actions. What we control, and where we start to create our reality, is in how we perceive, interpret, and think about the events in our life that generate our feelings about those events, and how we subsequently respond with our behavior. No one can choose your thoughts or actions; those are ours alone.

What we take in from the environment through our belief filter becomes our self-concept. Our self-concept is made up of beliefs about who you are presently, and I can believe about who you are capable of being in the future. From these I am and I can statements, you create stories and narratives about who you are, that you tell yourself and other people all day long. I am not good enough, I am not lovable, I can not do it, I am smart, I am capable, I can achieve my goals. You are the main character in your story, and you write the script based on your self-concept that is largely self-created. You write the story of what you think is likely and/or possible based on what you believe is true, and then you take actions consistent with those expectations.

When you act on what you expect will happen before it happens, you participate in creating the experience. For example, if you don’t have a positive self-concept and you fear rejection when you go on a date or go to a job interview, you are not likely to present your best self by acting calm and self-confident; you are likely to be anxious and act in a way that is more likely to result in rejection. Hence, the self-fulfilling prophecy. We act in ways likely to bring about what we believe is true. That is the very definition of creating your reality. You are participating in creating your reality, whether you know it or not. There is nothing magical or woo-woo about it. It is simply the way our brains operate.

When you deny, reject, or are unaware of this, then you have very little power and will feel like the victim of your life. But with awareness comes choice. When you start to understand the process and make it work for you, you are empowered to be in charge of the life you create. Will there always be things that happen that are outside of your control? Yes, that is guaranteed. But what you do control is how you think and feel, and what you subsequently do about those uncontrollable events—that is how you shape and create your life. There are always people who thrive in times of crisis. Is it because they are lucky?

Most likely, it is because they choose to see opportunity as opposed to disadvantage.

The brain is a muscle that can move the world, the key that sets you free.

The trick is you have to feel good for no reason whatsoever.

Blessings, my dear friends,